7 Ways to Mend a Tender Heart

Those of us with tender hearts can feel disadvantaged in turbulent times like these. I invite you to think of being warm, caring, compassionate, and empathetic (i.e., qualities of a tender heart) as a gift.

I’ve needed to actively mend my tender heart to witness an unsettling and growing blatant disregard for human health, rights, and dignity on the airwaves and in the sound bites.

Taking steps to mend your tender heart can be the highest form of holistic health and self-care.

Here are seven ways to mend your tender heart so that it does not break.

Reconnect to Joy

Ask yourself (and maybe journal on these questions):

When am I most happy?

Where do I most often experience joy?

Who am I with?

Answers may come easily and if they do not, don’t struggle. Take your time. (I had to sit with these questions.)

My hope is that remembering is a delightful process. Your responses here will inform and guide the next four steps.

My list became:

BEAUTY – creating it
NATURE – being in/with it
LOVE – making or expressing it

Nature – Connect with it

We’ve disconnected from the natural world and dwell in a reality of screens.

Technology is amazing and we need to consciously reconnect with the natural world around us to ground our energy and balance ionic exchange at the cellular level.

Spend time in your/a garden or with trees. Smell the flowers, touch the flowers or the bark. Sit on the grass or gravel and take it in for a time.

This could be as simple as sitting on your porch or at a window while enjoying your cup of tea or coffee.

Or it could be a hike. The point is to spend time among plants.

For me, I’ve been taking walks in my neighborhood (even in the growing dark hours) and my joy is passing my neighbor’s heirloom rose bushes at the sidewalk edge.

Smelling the aroma of those late blooms lifts me out of any worrisome state. It’s bliss at the moment.

Love – Make or Express it

Create space in your calendar for quality time with loved ones. It need not be dinner out or a date night (although I am a big fan of those); it could be a check-in to share your day or a dream you have.

Bonus points if this involves candlelight.🕯️and definitely screen-free, unless of course, that is how you are connecting with your loved one.

This screen-free face-to-face time could be with a romantic partner, your child, pet, or dear friend. Take time to LISTEN as well as express yourself.

Beauty – Create it

I’ve picked up watercolors again! And I’m elated to see the pigment and water exchange and dance on the paper.

For you, it could be:

• Drawing in your journal with colored pencils or
• doodling with a colored pen or
• arranging a bouquet of plant cuttings or flowers
• Styling your hair in a new and different way.
• It could even be clearing one surface of clutter in your home.

Think small and simple.

Nourish Self

Preparing your first meal in advance is a gorgeous way to save time in busy mornings and through action, say “I love you.”

The way to do this is to make your first meal protein-rich and low-carb.

Starting with a savory (not sweet) breakfast will become your secret weapon to avoid slumps in energy due to blood glucose crash throughout the day. As one living with T1D for 37 years, trust me on this one. 

Here’s the breakfast I made (for today and tomorrow) before sitting down to write this:

Blueberry Chia Pudding

(2 servings)

Ingredients:

• 1 cup blueberries
• 1 cup whole milk (or alternative if you choose)
• ¾ c. water
• 3 Tbsp chia seeds (split between two mason jars)
• 2 pint size mason jars

Blend first three ingredients. Pour mixture into two mason jars.

Add 1.5 Tbsp chia seeds to each jar, mixing thoroughly.

Place in fridge or let sit 30 minutes before eating.

I like to add walnuts or pumpkin seeds and a dollop of greek yogurt to add protein and fiber. Enjoy!

Pray

Prayer is the ultimate surrender to your Higher Power. For me, that is God.

Doing your best in any and every situation, whether it be simple or the most challenging, IS all we can do.

Once you've given your best effort, give it up and give it over to your Higher Power.

For me, this is greeting each new day with a prayer of thanks, for having another day to do and be my best.

Pray can be chanting, it can be preparing a meal for loved ones. You define how it looks.

A deeply nourishing prayer I enjoy is chanting the sacred sound of AUM to this gorgeous audio recorded by the teacher, Yogacharya Dr. Ananada Balayogi Bhavanani that you can enjoy right here (Youtube) or here (Spotify). Enjoy.

Use essential oils

Another way to connect with Nature is to use plant essences, such as hydrosols and essential oils. Aroma is our oldest sense and the sense of smell offers the shortest and fastest pathway to the mood-regulating receptors in the brain.

Smelling your favorite aroma can lift your mood or fortify your tender heart.

Essential oils I love and use when my heart feels heavy are either “light and lifting” aromas of flowers or “nurturing and grounding” aromas from tree resins. 

Here are my favorites. Click the link to learn about each:

• Neroli (Citrus aurantium)
• Ylang ylang complete (Cananga odorata)
• Myrrh (Commiphora myrrha)
• Sandalwood, Hawaiian (Santalum paniculatum)

Conclusion

It only takes a single expression of love for yourself to boost your spirits, release the feel-good hormone oxytocin, and help mend your tender heart.

Make this work for you and your schedule: cuddle your dog/cat/gerbil, hug a loved one (or yourself!), be intentional with your time and attention.

Let me know what you did for yourself today and how it made you feel.

Comment below or hop on my email list and share there. I’m rooting for you.